Keep it in perspective

Time to reload my bankroll. At times, I realize how terrible a poker player I am. Sometimes, I am delusional and feel I am really building upon my poker skills. I have learned so much over the last year. I have learned about betting position, reading betting patterns, the importance of steals and re-steals, pot-odds, EV, and more.

But then I play in a 27 player SNG that pays top 5 and finish 7th, and my frustration builds, then I go on tilt. I play a couple of bigger tournaments, go all in with KK (nooooooooooo) only to get called by AA. Go on bigger tilt. Finish 7th in a 49 player tournament that pays top 5. Lose more. Wash, Rinse, repeat.

Oh well. I am small time. I am still learning. My bankroll is only a couple hundred bucks at a time. Patience is the key, right? Be patient. Avoid tilting. I really think playing online will help my game long term because I have no tells to rely on. I really have to study the fundamentals of the game to be successful online. But at the same time, it can be very frustrating. When the bully at my table catches a set of 8's after he called my all in with 5h8h and I am playing AA and we both had about the same starting chip stacks (1 full buy in), I want to throw my laptop out the window.

But then I sit back and laugh. It was only 1/8th of my bankroll. I can reload. I have a beautiful wife that still loves me, even though I got my Aces cracked. I have 5 kids that still love me even though my Kings couldn't hold up. And I have a FANTASTIC LIFE, even though I have a lot to learn to be good at poker.

And so I remind myself: Stay patient.